My battle with a immune disorder that led to anorexia for over 2 yrs

I had chronic fatigue and dropped from 117lbs to 99 lbs in 2 months. I was trying to take care of my baby and could barely do for myself because of how weak I was.. I stopped going to the doctors it did not seem to help me at all. I got tired of the medicines. The last thing I got diagnosed with was candida which made me even fear eating more than what I did, over the pain. I drank water but started to even lose my thirst so I got hospitalized twice. The last time I was hospitalized they told my mom that I was critical. The doctor could not even draw blood from me when I went in. I remember my mom wanting to bring meto the ER the next day. The doctor she took me to said I would not make it to the next day. I was 99 lbs..The doctor told her that I was starving myself, she thought I was anorexic but I never made myself purge. I would never put my life in danger like that on purpose. I am married with a beautiful baby girl and I love my family. I was quitting on myself tho, I was so tired . I was in the hospital for 4 days.. they gave me 8 bags of plasma. I remember calling my mom a earlier that week before she took me. I could barely move I was in so much pain all over and extremly weak. I knew I had a baby to take care of.. so I told my mom I do not know what is going on but I need you to pray for me because I could barely move over the pain.. I had no idea that my body was shutting down on me, it was dieing.. I remember telling God many times.. I know you have a plan for my life but I do not know what is going on with me or why?? It is hard to cling to hope when it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel because of how you are feeling ... physically, mentally and emotionally.. I could not even believe that my husband was still standing at my side and telling me he loved me and that I was beautiful. To me, I looked disgusting, like something out of a horror movie.. I felt soooo ugly I was just fading away that is how I saw myself.. My eating disorder stemmed out of a fear of the disease they said I had and what it could do to me.. All I can say is when my mom told me about this other doctor and how good and therough she was I felt something touch my heart like a calm in the storm or something it is hard to discribe but I believed that this time would be different. It was she did not just look at me and say this is what you have. Here is a perscription and send me on my way.. I know through that lady God made a way for me to be here and alive today.. The last day I was in the hospital they did a biopsy on my breast to see if it was breast cancer and it came out fine. I remember gettin up early that day, standing in front of my room window looking out in the sky and singing to the Lord... I heard him so clearly tell me greater is he who is in you ( meaning Jesus in my heart) than he who is in the world ( meaning the devil that had control over my mind).. He said, satan has lost his hold YOU HAVE THE VICTORY...IT IS OVER.. I just heard it over and over again and starting crying. I knew this was the end of the road and of the battle that I been having over 2 and a half years. I could not see that the devil had such a stronghold over my mind over the fear I got of eating.. That fear opened the door for an eating disorder that I could not see that I had, but I did..I know how the devil can have you think things that are not true, he almost took my life over it.. But God has the last word.. Sometimes we do not know the reasons things happen the way they happen but I take this experience as an understanding into the lives of precious girls and women who struggle with eating disorders.. Today I am ALIVE AND FREE to be here for others that are struggling with these problems.. My hearts desire is to be here for others even if they just need to talk.. A lot of times friends and family give up but God never gives up on us because he loves us so much..

Mercy Ministries and Celebrate Recovery

I am starting this blog to share with those who are struggling or have loved ones that are struggling with addictions of any kind. My concern for parents who are struggling with eating disorders or have children or other family members that struggle with this type of illness. Feel free to go to myspace and view my story and you would not how I relate to this in my blog and also have my story on my profile page. Go to http://www.myspace.com/mercygirl2 I had struggled with an eating disorder for over 2 years after I had my baby. There was first a health issue that winded up leading to anorexia. This is my reason for wanting to share with you about Mercy Ministries this is a program that takes in girls and women from the ages of 13-28 that struggle with self harm, sexual abuse, eating disorders, drug addictions and so much more. The program saved my life as a struggling suicidal teen that was hooked on drugs and was ready for life to end. Ever felt you were just existing and had no purpose or was ever told that you would never amount to anything or get your life straight. Well that is not something you have to take and believe about yourself just because that is what others say. Nobody is perfect and we all have struggles in life and reasons behind why we do what we do. Alot times its a form of escapism cause we would rather stay high than live in reality. No matter who you feel or view yourself you are no mistake and you do have purpose in life. Alot of times people get locked up only to go back to the same life style they had before they got there.
Parents that are pouring their money into programs to help their kids to only get them back and see them fall right back into it all again. I got some encouraging news for you moms with daughters, Mercy Ministries is free all they ask is that the girls be willing to go through the program and graduate. They are not trying to make money off of the suffering of others. Here is the site for you to check out and look into yourself. http://www.mercyministries.com/

Celebrate recovery is for women and men and teens and it covers so many areas. They just started this program at our church and it is awesome. Yes I am in church and still go because I want to see what it is all about and I am interested in being a part of the team later on. You can be in church and still struggle with hurts, habits and hangups. None of us are perfect.
It is on Friday's at 7pm to 10pm. We open up with worship, then it goes into teaching, after we go into groups which are support groups. After we go into the cafe and have food and refreshments and fellowship with others. It is good to get connected. It is not easy overcoming a struggle that you had most of your life in your own might but it is great to be surrounded by others that are in it with you and those that care and support you through the process of recovery. If you want to see if their is a Celebrate Recovery in your area go to http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ what could it hurt to give it a chance it can be life changing.
If you have any questions feel free to ask..