Freedom in 2009

I am so excited about what the Lord is doing. A couple of weeks ago we started our Celebrate Recovery life groups on Wednsday night at 7pm at Reserve Church. This is pretty much the meat of the recovery where the teachings come in and the sharing and as you listen to what the lesson is about and open up God really comes in and meets you right where your at in life whatever your struggle or hurt may be. Even those that you don't remember being there that have been surpressed since childhood starts to resurface to mind as you go through the process of recovery.. I never would've thought that I had such a root still there after all these years concerning my father not ever being in the picture. I never knew him and was always told that he did not want me. He never bothered to come and see me even tho he was offered the opportunity. I thought I had fully forgiven him and let it go, only to have the hurts come up during group discussions. When I asked for prayer it was because I was having a hard time with my daughter not gettin what I felt she needed relationship wise from her father. I would cry about it at times because it would hurt me. I wanted strength concerning dealing with that and some other things only to find out as my leader in CR started talking to me. She had me recognize that I was living my hurts through my daughter because of me not having a father and that I needed to forgive my father for not being there and to release him. It was hard and I cried alot but it was awesome to realize the truth behind my actions was over my own rejection and hurts. I got the healing I needed that night and things have been so awesome! I have opened up my life even more since then. My relationship with God has increased in a major way since I no longer have that father wound. Also, I no longer hold expectations over my husband and it has freed me by letting what I expected or wanted of him go. It has changed my relationship with him for the better.

I would never think after being saved for 17yrs that I would have such a root still, but it took certain things to happen for me to recognize what my problem was.. My problem was not my husband it was my hurt that I had surpressed for so long. I am glad that I am going through celebrate recovery because I am learning it does not matter how long you been in church you can still have things surpressed from your past hurts, habits or hangups. So that means your still bound up and hurting, you just do not know it or what causes you to do the things you do or react to things the way you do..There is no such thing as out of sight out of mind.. Think of it this way if you took a bunch of rags and junk and went outside and dug a hole to dispose of it does that mean it isn't there just because you do not see it. No when you go back out to that spot years later and dig that hole you will find the same stuff in view again. You may be going on with life, but the stuff is still there even tho you cannot see it. If you do not deal with things that you have been through and go through the healing process you will never experience the freedom that God has called you to in Christ Jesus. That is why my focus it to walk in freedom in 2009. I will give my all into this program because like mercy ministries it works and you walk out free and healed and can't wait to tell others of what happened with you and what God has done in your life..